I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
