naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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