That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
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She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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