i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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