Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
