How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
