i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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