He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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