guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
