u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was confusing and full of hummus
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had sex on a roof
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
