one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i out mim tonsoeep
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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