This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Im part way to drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
