You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
