it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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