I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
