i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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