Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
