I hate your face
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
