my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
