All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
