my phone needs a breathalizer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
