Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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