did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
