Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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