I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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