well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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