If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
