Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
