Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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