i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
