I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
