Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
