i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
