It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
