There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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