Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
