her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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