i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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