god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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