im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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