Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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