Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
should my penis look like a turkey
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
These tits shall not be calmed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
