Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
