There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
