the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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