i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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