We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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