i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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