Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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