as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
God I need to hump something, right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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