at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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