Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
