This girl is more easily done than said...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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