The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
