I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
