Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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