You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
