I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
