I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
