ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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