I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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