she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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