Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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