Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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