You just made me feel so damn special
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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