You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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