i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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