How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
