Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So vagazzling was a success
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
