Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
