I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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