I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
